VACATION!
Today was my last day of summer camp, and the students in one class seemed determined to prove their affection by giving me as many bruises as possible. They're grades 1/2, and really cute, but also tiny psychos -- young enough to be violent, old enough for it to hurt.

There's one beautiful little girl in the class who I gave the English name Regina*, but who somehow got the nickname SpongeBob. She's disruptive and quick to hit and obviously indulged at home. She likes to get my attention by kicking me as hard as she can in the back of the thigh.

Today we were playing one of many games in a big circle. The kids fight over who gets to hold my hand, which at first was really cute but quickly became super annoying. SpongeBob won the fight by pinching the other girls until they cried, and then grabbed my hand like a little limpet; I seriously could not get her off. I ignored her and tried to start the game. Spongebob started twisting my fingers the wrong way; I ignored her some more.

Then SpongeBob stuck my ring finger in her mouth. "EW! WHAT?" I shouted. SpongeBob giggled, then (I assume unknowingly?) imitated a sex act. I jerked my hand away and made sure to keep a couple of Jennys between me and her for the rest of the class.

Lessons: I need a coteacher always, little girls are creepy, I don't want to be a real teacher.


*English names are not my idea. In fact, they ook me out. But my principal feels strongly that they are a good idea, so all of my students get "English" names. I give them cool names, like Anise or Nadia or Hannon, and they promptly change it to Judy, Julie, and Harry.